The fire crackling, glowering hazy red and the two candles melting in wine bottles are no longer enough. Outside – my shadow guiding the way – I go to seek another kind of light, one no less elemental or primal, yet utterly older and equally bright.
I am standing outside under the stars tonight, and I don’t think it is possible to get bored doing so. There are all the stars up there ever seen by Humankind at anytime. The longer I look, so many great and glorious clusters appear, side by side, so I can see Mount Rushmore sized benevolent Star-faces smiling down at the Earth.
And under their gaze, that feeling fills me of being seen and of seeing. Of being tucked in of a night, when you’re poorly or scared as a child. A parental kiss on your forehead, covers wrapped tight under your feet and pulled to your chin. A drink by your bedside, the door left ajar – meaning safety next door if you need it. You know you’re loved, you can close you eyes and be in the darkness inside your own eye lids, you can surrender to sleep, begin to dream some more.
I love how thoughts turn to matters of the heart so sincerely and clearly under the winking of those little lights. Friends, relatives or colleagues absent or lost to us through the years are felt with no need to forgive. All the self-righteousness, the proponency of being right all the time, the self promotion, the self-flagellation, the constant strive to be ahead and on top, slips away. Misunderstandings melt in the grey space between your hands and the black canvass of the sky, whilst a delicate sense of love streams out of those lights. You could scream your hate into that canopy, let it sail into the void, yet in all that vastness there is no room for anything, but what you feel for those you think of most fondly.
Under its splendour we are at once in each moment ever spent with others or ourselves, when looking up at the night sky. Ancestors standing on high rock ledges, backs to the flickers of a cave mouth fire, watch with the same child like wonder as we do now, arrows exchanged for rockets, and still firing at the moon we miss the point. We already have the treasure, we already have the pot of gold at the rainbow end. We have this beautiful planet-platform to view it all from. So precious, so utterly loving to us, our Mother that birthed us – life in a lifeless void – allows us to grow.
Under the Stars, we are instantly brought together. There are no sexes, no races, no judgmental cases to separate us from one another. We pilgrims, we’ve held hands on this journey before and will again, in the last life, this one or the next. Soul friends, Soul family, Soul teasers and Soul-teachers, we’re voyaging in this gargantuan, gloried ride together, seeking each other out, over and again, in all the crazy reincarnations and costumes of ourselves, hiding and seeking ourselves in each others eyes and life’s, moment to moment, life after life, adding a little wind to each others sails, sending us further down the stream of Stars, heading through the void of life and strife and whatever we need it to be to teach us, to lead us towards the light from which we come.
Under these Starts tonight, I know nothing of want or need. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t need anything from you. I am sorry if I have ever hurt you. I Love you, and that is all I wanted you to read.
Because you might be sat at work wishing it was the weekend. You might be feeling alone. You might be fucked off and fed up and wondering if it’s all worth it. There are wars, there are some horrible things going on. There is a promotion of fear that is hard to get away from. So if that is the case, go outside tonight, look up, and know that in that multitude of light, there is a star that is reflecting in the eyes of someone that cares.
So, I’ll be wishing you a clear night sky tonight. Go out and hold hands together, whatever side of the world you are on. Go seek each other out.
Love for you